Conversation with Dog After a Few Glasses of Red Wine

A Conversation About Clicker Training Purity

Me: Why have I actually got so hung up on training 100% clicker?

Frida: Stupid question, why on earth are you thinking about that now?

Me: Not really sure. I'm having a lot of discussions online, and there are so many people shaking their heads at us fanatics. That we just can't understand how much bigger the toolbox becomes when you pick a bit from every method.

Frida: Good grief, are you arguing with those gundog people again? Can't you just spend the time giving me some sausage instead?

Me: You can't have sausage all the time, we're both going to get fit and healthy, you know. Yeah, I'm debating with the gundog folk and the German Shepherd lot, and the newbies. No matter how much we bombard them with theory and documentation, they just won't agree.

Frida: And you thought they'd just come around without any effort?

Me: Yeah, you know, the power of the better argument and all that. It's supposed to be pretty hefty stuff.

Frida: (shakes head) Discussion is for nerds, can't understand why you even bother.

Me: But could they possibly have a point, though? It sounds pretty good to be able to pick a bit here and there based on what suits you and your dog best. And since there are so many theories, and research results change from day to day, we don't really need to follow them, do we?

Frida: Have you had one too many? Now you're starting to talk like the people you're so frustrated with. Those ones who use symbols willy-nilly, without thinking about what the symbols actually mean. Strip everything down to the essentials and use it for their own purposes. And those who reject all viewpoints because all opinions are equally valid (since everyone thinks something anyway, lizzm).

Me: You're right, I'd almost forgotten about that. Like those black-Russian kids last year who bought red-Russian clothes because they wanted to be red-Russians instead. No respect. Or Libresse, using protest songs in adverts for pads, ugh now I feel sick. Or the fashion industry using political symbols as accessories. And don't even get me started on all those people who think research only happens in laboratories and has nothing to do with reality, gross. But is it the same thing, though?

Frida: Rein it in, mum. Don't you really see the connection? You can't just take things from other methods just because they look fancy. Seriously, if you start doing that hissing thing on me, I'm going on strike. Or find a mum with some sense in her head. The things you do have actual consequences, you know. Do we really have to have the consequences conversation again?

Me: Yeah, I see it, and we don't need to have that conversation now. And there's a reason I got into clicker training in the first place. I wasn't exactly planning to start with something else, but you do have to wonder why more people don't see the benefits of training cleanly. I just get a bit frustrated sometimes.

Frida: Can't understand why you'd get frustrated. You've got me, and I'm actually quite perfect.

Me: Don't get too modest now.

Frida: I'm just saying it like it is.

And so the banter continued until one of us dozed off on the sofa (I'm not saying who).